Characters
(Or, who's who in Cudrup County—an incomplete list)
The Narrator: Keeps us in the know with his witty observations, all delivered in a good-natured country drawl.
Robby Jean Marshall, a.k.a. Money: Beautiful young career criminal with a heart of gold. She grew up an orphan, under the roof and strict watch of Sister Crystal Mighty. She can stop a man's heart with the lift of an eyebrow or drop him to his knees with a lightning fist.
Jimmy Jake McAllister, a.k.a. Run: Tall and rugged outlaw. Hard to tell if he is actually on the run from the law or from himself. He's got a scar deep in his soul to match the one on his jaw and a patch on his eye just like the one that covers his past.
Jimmy Jack Bodeen: A detective/bounty hunter/mercenary-for-hire/life coach. Has a score to settle with Run and won't rest until he evens it.
Big Momma Bob: Owner of a large chain of Cudrup County liquor stores among other (less public) pursuits. Big Momma runs the county and anyone who stands in her way gets a good talking-to. And usually a good washtub full of quick-dry poured around their ankles.
O.T.: Ortholemew Tiberius Polk Quincy Adams Jefferson III. Town drunk. Loveable but smells kind of bad.
Officer Carl: Local sheriff. Tough as nails but easily confused. Isn’t in the least bit afraid to get up in your face and ask you how everything is going tonight.
Ronny: The youngest of Big Momma's many sons. Smaller and weaker than his thuggish brothers, but he makes up for it by being petty and whiny too.
Bo & Luke: Two of Big Momma's many sons. (Episode 1)
Coy & Vance: Two more of Big Momma's many sons. (Episode 2)
Hoss & Dix: Two more of Big Momma's many sons. (Episode 3)
Sister Crystal Mighty: Mother Superior at Sister Crystal Mighty's Home for Dispossessed Children. The closest thing to a real mother that Robby Jean Marshall has. (Episode 2)
Sister Sledge: A nun at the orphanage. (Episode 2)
Dr. Randall Asswagon: A doctor and scientist. Founder and chief of medicine at the Patsy Cline Academy for Alternately Abled Youth. Mad as a freaking hatter. Ooo-boy, we mean, he is CUH-RAZY. (Episode 2)
Layla Venezuela: Mysterious and gorgeous Latin dancer of considerable talent. One kiss makes you her slave; the second makes you her victim. (Episode 3)
Miss Doreen Lisch: Dee for short. Owner and proprietor of Hoglocker's only tavern, Doreen's Canteen. Loved Run once, then hated him more than once. (Episode 3)